I really need some advice! I am newly married & have been cheating with my neighbor for a couple months now.?

Before you judge, my marriage has been rocky since before we got married %26amp; serioulsy thought about calling it off. My husband has suffered with addiction problems %26amp; it keeps us on a rollercoaster ride. Because of this our relationship has suffered. We moved to a new town and it got worse. This is when I met my neighbor. We had an instant attraction to each other %26amp; had become only good friends but we both knew there was more there. He has a live in girlfriend %26amp; they have been together for 4yrs, but they don't have sex. Every time the 4 of us were together we would gravitate towards each other, but kept our boundaries, until recently. We both let the cat out of the bag.I have never cheated EVER on anyone, but can't resist with him. I think we are both comfortable in our relationships and scared to see if it's the real thing. But I have NEVER felt this way about anyone before %26amp; he says the same %26amp; has said he loves me. Is it possible it is only chemisty or lust. Or could it really be love?I really need some advice! I am newly married %26amp; have been cheating with my neighbor for a couple months now.?
let me give this some thought, and i will respond in about 1 hour





edit: Ashley, the concept that you have heard that love is blind is very true, one hopes that the other will change for the better but that is not the case. The greater always blesses the lessor, and evil company corrupts good character, it is an equally true, though opposing view.





you are blessing your addicted husband by helping him to exist in his addiction. whether you conceded that or not.





he is corrupting your character by not meeting your needs or creating an environment in which you are looking outside the bounds of your marriage for fullfillment.





either way, you are in a desperate state of being.





this is my opinion, and only my opinion. i do not believe you are in a marriage at all. it is my opinion that rather you are playing.





you need to get out of both of these relationships, what you are calling marriage which is not, and out of this ';attraction'; relationship as well. both of these are destructive for you in the long run.





i would encourage you to get some counselling and help you to find out what attracted you to this addicted type in the first place. I believe that whatever it is, is also in the second man though you may not yet see it. either way, it is moth to the flame and you will suffer loss if you continue in this path.





some here are saying end one before you open another door, but i'm telling you, to end both and find out why you are acting this way, what need you have and strengthen yourself so that you don't go through this over and over again.





2nd dude, the one with the live in girl friend, what is that all about. is he to leave her high and dry when the two of you hit it off, or do you move in with them?





someone living with an ex, sounds a bit creepy to me, though i do understand the financial aspect of living with someone to help defer costs...





ashley, you need to do some very heavy soul searching. email me if you want. i'm not judging you, and i will not. but you have asked for help, and i will give as much as you want to acceptI really need some advice! I am newly married %26amp; have been cheating with my neighbor for a couple months now.?
Good grief woman! If you don't want to be judged then you are in the wrong place! Why on earth would you get married if you were not sure to begin with? What are you a martyr? I hope to God that you don't have children. Just get a divorce and stop being a coward. Anyone who cheats is. Sounds like you both deserve each other because your neighbor is also cheating! I doubt it is love. You both need to decide what you want to do. If he is cheating now, what makes you think it will stop with you? If you end up together you will definitely have major trust issues! Oh well you made it now lay in it! You need to make sure your husband goes to rehab and gets the help he needs! After all YOU married him for better or for worse and you knew what you were getting into!!!!! Oh and it doesn't matter that you NEVER EVER cheated before. You did it and that is a fact! It is like saying, ';Sorry judge I have NEVER EVER stolen anything before!'; Give me a break! Grow up!!!!!
Not judging you but what respecting man would step in the middle of another person's marriage and have relations with that mans wife then sit at his table to eat and pretend nothings happened? If he's willing to cheat with you then he's willing to cheat on you which BTW he's cheating on both of you which each other no way could it be love because real love doesn't hurt the person it claims to have those feelings for. Neither does he respect himself, his live in lover, your husband or you.
Sounds familair....This happened to me but the details were a bit different as in we were both married. If you ask me..you will not be able to quit the relationship with your neighbor. It just wont. And if your unhappy with your husband...then your gonna have to end it. He's gonna find out about the two of you. And if you can end it with your husband with him not finding out would be ideal...but I can't help but think hes gonna find out. Now for your neighbor...hes gonna have to deal with his live in. Believe me when they find out..its gonna be hell. But if you two (Your neighbor) really love eachother...you WILL make it thru the transition. Its gonna get hairy but it will end. I hope there are no kids involved...that always makes things harder.......Good Luck. Follow your heart.
Have you ever thought that maybe you are just thinking this way about your neighbor because you wish your relationship with your husband was like that and you just want it so bad that you don't care who it's with? Think about it, do you really have chemistry with him or do you just want you r husband to care about you like that but you feel neglected because he's going through a rough time and doesn't have the mental strenght to do that right now? Just think before you do anything rational, think long and hard about your husband, your aspirations for your marriage, what would happen if you did decide to end it and went along with it, what would happen to your husband if you care about him, think about every little thing and every little scenario that could happen. Just promise me that you will spend time thinking about it all, try getting away from your neighbor for a few days and see how it goes, try talking to your husband, and see how that goes. Trust me, the situation with your husband will get better...just give it time and love and everything you see in your neighbor will finally come out through your husband.





I hope you make the right decision.





good luck
Why did you get married then if you knew you couldn't work it out?
You know the answer. Nobody will encourage you or cheating whatever the reason you may have. Instead of cheating, marry him. Ask him once and you will come to know the fact of life which you already know in your heart.
with your relationship being rocky before marriage, why did you marry? especially with all his problems. i understand where your coming from. if someone has addictions and you dont believe me it's never going to last anyway. as far as this neighbor only time will tell. do whatever makes you happy. don't live life miserable. it's not worth it and life is too short to be miserable.
You are playing with peoples emotions and that is wrong! Period! You should have separated or divorced before getting involved with someone else.
I think the biggest possibility of them all is the possibility that you married for all the wrong reasons. If you thought you should have called it off, then you should have. Do everyone a favor and get a divorce, whether or not you have chemistry with the guy you are cheating with.
Fix what is broken in your marriage or end it. He should do the same. If both your marriages are finished they you may explore a life with each other.


It's your own integrity you are stripping.
If we are not suppose to judge and your relationship was rocky before you got married why the H*** did you get married...I do not feel sorry and people like you are making me puke...whatever happens to you you deserve it...there are options you did choose the wrong one...f****** get divorce and stop feeling sorry for yourself,...you are not the victim here !!!
Only one way to find out....
he's getting some on the side.....sure, they don't have sex, she probably doesn't understand him either. the oldest trick in the book.
women like you frighten the h3LL outta me, the way you can rationalize anything and make it seem like its ok, in YOUR head.





sad sad way to live...sneaking off next door for a little diddle session before you come home to make supper. sickening.
it could be love but you shouldn't be cheating on him if you were having problems before the wedding you should of sat down with each other and talked about weather or not it was the right thing to do because it seems now that it wasn't right for you guys to get married
you don't want to be judged, yet put yourself out there to be. brilliant, any wonder he chose you. YOU are the one who got married to a drug abuser, it's nobody's fault but your own.
Why'd you get married? Seriously, all these problems probably existed prior to getting hitched, you should get unhitched since neither of you are committed or even know what you really want.
It could be real but you have to break it off with the others to find out. It's a gamble, but if this is what you want then go for it. You live once, live to the fullest and don't let anyone hold you back.
Why the hell did you get married in the 1st place? Marriage is a serious thing. If you are so much in love, get a divorce and get with this one. It think it is just lust, infatuation.
You need to close one door before going into another. So end your relationship with your husband because you are not being fair to yourself or him. Once you have ended that, move on and see if it works with the other guy. You should have never gotten married if it was rocky to begin with so either way you need to end or fix your marriage and move on if that is what you want to do. Life is too short to spend it with someone you are not happy with.
NEWLY married? and already cheating? husband is an addict?





Get out now... before you bring kids into it.





But leave for YOU - not because you think that he will leave her to be with you.
sounds like you screwed up and your looking for someone to give you the ';O.K.';, but really its not ok you need to put the past behind and work on your future or you need to come clean and see what your husband wants to do about it. whatever the outcome your neighbor wont want you when its all said and done. He'll have moved on to the next one in line.
You married someone that you do not love. Therefore, you set yourself up for trouble. The best thing that you can do is to divorce your husband and then decide whether you want to date this guy.





You cannot determine if you are ';in love'; while married to someone else.





Take care,


Troy
i get you think you love this neighbor whatever! time will mature you and you will realize you got married way too soon and never should have but thats no reason to cheat. Just tell your husband you dont' deserve him cuz youdont' and let him go be with someone who can be faithful and true to him
first of all, there is NEVER a reason for cheating. if you are really that unhappy you shouldn't have married him in the first place or you shoudl leave now. no, i don't think it's love. it's a case of ';the grass is grenner...';.
i never understand why ppl use the excuse i am not happy!!! if your not happy end it before being with someone else its a cowards way out
Honestly, it could be both - love or lust but from what you are telling me it looks like you 2 are both in need of what you are not getting from your partners- so this is probably not love or lust, but just trying to fill a void, an emptyness. Maybe you and your husband should not have gotten married if and while things were rocky because as you can see, those same problems will arise until fixed. I don't condone cheating on your husband because that just makes you the bad one. Try to fix it with him and then if that doesn't work you might want to leave.


As for this ';friend';, the longer you have relations with him the more serious your attachment will become and since you are both involved with other people, one of you is bound to be hurt. YOU CANNOT FIX SOMETHING WITHIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP BY GOING OUTSIDE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Remember that. You need to decide which is more important to you. Good luck.
I AM going to judge...YOU are a loser. WHY get married if you had such problems before marriage? Did you think getting married would make it better? You wouldn't know what true love was if it was spat in your face. You are cheating and asking us could it be true love. Ask your hubby is it true love, ask the loser your cheating with girlfriend is it true love. Deal with your marriage, get a divorce or whatever the hell your going to do but dont be in loser mode and ask to not be judged.
';Before you judge';.








Too late. Buncha ridgerunners.
It's hard to say what it could be but you do know what is is at this point it is an affair! It's too late to just walk away b/c now you are married, it's too late not to start something you shouldn't have b/c it's already began. So now you have the here and now to work with and it this fellow is serious about you then he won't have a problem with walking away and if you are serious about him you as well won't have a problem getting a divorce, normally I would side aginst that but your situation is different and by the sounds of it you have already moved on... The best thing you can do now is talk to your other and ask him if he's serious, second best thing come clean to your spouce b/c you are living a lie and it's not fair to your husband either way no matter what your other says you souldn't drag along your husband b/c obviously it's over in your heart so let him move on as well it's only the right thing to do, as far as the other guy goes with his 4 year relationship obviously him not having sex with her is a lie, on occasions they do and you'd be crazy to think any thing different but the difference there is that he is not commiting adultry b/c they are not married but yet still all and all she is be cheated out of finding her own true happiness.... Therefor you have a choice live a lie and wait to be caught or back out and do the right thing and be honest you have to keep in mind that sometimes karma can be cruel so how cruel do you want yours to be? If it's love you and your lover will be together somehow someway in an honest manner if it isn't he isn't going to want to leave his g/f and you'll be broken hearted and even more confused then what you already are......