Married couples and joint bank accounts....advice?

My husband and I maintained and still maintain separate bank accounts prior to and during our marriage (married a little over a year now). I pay our bills from my account online and he just writes me a check every month for his half.





Last night, he says our marriage is abnormal as we do not share a joint bank account. I'm wondering how true this is....so, I throw this question out to the Yahoo! community!





Q: Do you think it's abnormal for a married couple to NOT share a bank account?





My thoughts are....if it's not broken, don't fix it! It's been flowing smoothly until my husband got this new idea into his head that our marriage is somehow ';abnormal';.





Thank you!!Married couples and joint bank accounts....advice?
I don't think its abnormal. We aren't married yet but have been living together for over 6 years now. We still have separate checking accounts and I think it will stay that way when we get married. He signs all his checks over to me I deposit in my account (I'm the bill payer) I put spending money in his account each week. It has worked for this long I don't see why getting married should change that.Married couples and joint bank accounts....advice?
No I don't think it is ';abnormal'; Each marriage is different so there really is no ';normal'; way of going things. However, if you two should ever divorce, even if you do not live in a community property state anything you have in your bank account will be half his and anything in his bank account will be half yours because they are considered marital assets. Also, any bills he has you have to pay half of and visa versa. Like if he has four credit cards and maxes all of them out, you will be responsible for paying off two of them because they are marital debts.
My parents were married for nearly 50 years and they always had separate accounts. When I got married years ago, I had a joint account with my husband but basically he spent all my money plus his own. We're divorced now. Next relationship, I kept my own account and he had his - this also caused trouble (for him that is) because he thought we somehow weren't a couple and that the separate accounts were a symptom of that. I'm always straight down the middle with money these days - I have my own account, I pay my share of the bills and what's left over is mine and mine alone.
it depends.....if you guys have not talked about it you must do so. This can bring financial issues now and later. Talk to him to discuss what you guys can do to solve the issue. I personally have a joint bank account with my husband and everything he has is mine and everything i have is his. thats just the way its been from the start. if i want something i buy it and if he wants something he buys it. But every relationship is different. Now and days partners dont have the flexibility to share an account
Its not ABNORMAL its a personal choice. My husband and I have shared an account since day 1. It works well for us. I do agree with ';if its not broke dont fix it'; BUT maybe your husband just doesnt like that it feels like ';yours'; ';his';. Maybe he would like to feel more like ';us';. Maybe open a joint account but dont actually close your separate accounts. maybe use the separate accounts as savings accounts and use the joint one as your actual checking account!!
No, not really it is all about how you see your future together. It is easyer to have a joint account, but what i would suggest is that you see how it will work out for you.





Also, see if there are options where a spouse can not take larger amount of money from let say some figure with out your consent/sighnature of approval.





Therfore, see with your bank manager to throw you some options...
Yah, who can say what normal is. That s*it wouldn't fly with me personally. I'm not a big fan of the paying 1/2 thing. It sounds like you're roomates more than a married couple, but whatever works for you. My wife and I keep separate and joint accounts, and have the ability to move money in and out of the joint account as necessary.
Most married people I know have joint bank accounts and credit cards. I know a few people that have separate accounts and they got divorced. Having joint accounts is another reminder of your union together. Watch the movie Fireproof. The couple in the movie had relationship problems because of keeping money separate.
I think a joint account is a good thing, but maintain your separate accounts.





In this day and age of direct deposit, you can have a portion of your pay deposited into the joint account and a portion deposited in your personal accounts.





But, you're right. If it ain't broke. . . .
From my point of view (50 years old divorced 5 years) if I were ever to get married again I'd have 3 accounts.





1. my own


2. her own


3. Household account that each of us put in an agreed upon amount of money each month.





When I was married with children we had nothing but joint accounts. It caused a lot of bickering.
It demonstrates a significant lack of trust.


Some priest will only marry a couple if the promise to get a joint account.





Most people today have all 3. You put your share of common money into the joint account to pay common bills and then keep what's left over in your account.
If you are not having any trouble managing two accounts then by all means keep it the way you have it. You may also want to see what kind of financial pitfalls come from joining your accounts in holy matrimony. I would love to have separate accounts again.
My husband and I have separate accounts and that works well for us; but we are both big time money earners. If I were unemployed or not making much, sure I'de want access to his money. Seeing as we dont' have that issue, we prefer to have separate accounts.
you could open a joint bank account just to pay all your bills out of but i would still keep my own account, everyone needs their own independance
I dont think its anything but normal.. now a days u cant share anything especially ur money with ur spouse..Ask him what gave him this idea and everythings been fine till now why now? but good luck to the both of u
so why dont you guys open a account together and keep your seprate accts too
we have separate bank accounts and we pay our own bills. as he has more money he pays major bills like mortgage and cars
It's not abnormal per se but maybe not common.





The only other thing to do is to pool the money together for shared necessities and then each person gets an ';allowance'; or play money to do with as they please.





Personally I like your system, but your husband obviously doesn't. A good compromise to suggest?





Have three checking accounts. One for each of you for your own use and a third ';joint'; checking account. Transfer equal amounts of money from each account to the joint account to cover household expenses.





Please be careful about joining the accounts. Maybe he isn't fabulous with money. Do you think it's okay for him to use what should be your ';play'; money just because he can't manage his own? Yes everything in marriage is shared. But each person in the marriage is entitled to a little play money. If he can't manage his portion then he needs to rethink his priorities. I'm not saying he is bad with money, but consider it when he makes a suggestion like this. What other reason would there be? The bills are getting paid aren't they?
What works for each couple is different. There is no right or wrong way to do things, so please don't get caught up in ';normal.'; It is a trivial as which side of the bed you should sleep on. Find what works for both of you.


I would make sure to talk to your husband about his thoughts and why this came up. It's good he felt comfortable talking to you about it, so look for understanding, not who's right or wrong. Communication is one of the most important factors in a relationship, and you want to make sure to keep those lines open. For instance, does he feel like he isn't contributing as much since he pays you back for the bills and isn't paying them himself? Does he not have enough moeny to do the fun things he'd like to do? Does he just want to try something different? Unless you already know these answers, please talk about it. You don't want to assume that you know his reasons.





Good Luck!
When you were married and received your wedding presents you should have opened a joint checking account. You should each have most (if not all) of your paychecks direct deposited into it. It is your money together.





You are not supposed to be nickel and diming each other to death about who might make or contribute more each month. Your in this together. If you can each set up a 401K in your names that would be a great way to save for retirement retiring. Having separate accounts, in my opinion, is an unnecessary division a marriage does not need. You just need to communicate with each other about purchases that are made.





Give it a trial run. It sounds like both of your are very independent and not willing to go ';all in'; on the marriage. Trust each other and work together. I bet it will bring you closer.





Good luck
I don't think it's ';abnormal';, but it's probably not what most couples do. I've been married a long time. My wife and I both maintain separate bank, and retirement accounts, but we also have a joint account that's used to pay bills, vacations, and expenses for the children. When we first got married we both agreed to take a percentage of our earning and put it into the joint account. I can't remember what the percentage was, but let's say 50% of our net pay (despite the fact that one of us may have earned more than the other). The rest went to retirement accounts, and our personal accounts (to be spent however we'd like). Thankfully, we both have very similar goals, and generally agree on how and what money is spent on. Over the years, the amounts may have changed, but neither of us seem to have ever had any complaints. I've never seen my wife spend without regards to our family as a whole. She's only complained once, early in our marriage, when I spent a few hundred dollars on some fishing gear. She was right. I really shouldn't have done it without talking about it with her first. After all this time, I just trust her, and she trusts me. She handles our money, and I have complete faith in her judgement.





It isn't broken, until someone starts saying it's a problem... which your husband is. If your marriage is working well, you shouldn't let money become an issue. Talk to him about what he thinks would be a fair and comfortable way of ';fixing'; the issue. There's nothing wrong with compromise. Sounds like he wants to have more in common, which isn't exactly a bad thing in a marriage.
Well my husband and I just married on 5/1/09, congrats to you by the way. We have always had separate bank accounts before and after. He signs over his paycheck to me every week and I deposit it into my checking account to pay the household bills. I make a considerable amount more than he does so I end up paying a considerable amount more of the household bills but that's fine by me because I know he tries his best by working overtime and looking for a better job when he has the chance. I don't really see the point in splitting things down the middle when in all reality he wouldn't be able to pay his ';half';. If your system is working for you I would leave it be. If your hubs is having an issue or a little uncertainty about the way things are I would sit down with him and ask him to explain the best he can and see if you can explain your side to him.
I just got married in June and we are in the process of merging our accounts. I think it is a trust thing. We want to be in the marriage 100% and money is hard and very reflective of relationship. If you can surrender you $$ you are really putting yourself in 100%. (not to insinuate that you are not in 100% , but then why keep your own account?) Why do you veiw it as him paying his ';half'; of the bills? You all are a couple, it is your bill together. There are no halves.





Why are you scared to have a joint account? I dunno, for me, it is very hard to let go of my accounts as I have always taken care of myself. I realize that my holding back, it really indicates my own fear and insecurity. Marriage is about becoming one and trusting completely. I do trust my husband, but money is hard. I know that by letting go of that feeling to protect or save ';my'; money, I am investing in our relationship and committment. I am showing that I trust him completely, which I do, but still have to process and work thru the money thing. Between the two of us, he is better at managing the money and monthly committments, so he will be the bill payer. And this is hard for me, because I am responsible and always paid my own mortgage and bills timely. It might be different in your relationship where maybe you are the bill-payer each month. Who ever is strongest in that area, should do it.





We will each have our own savings account as well as a ';play money'; account , but they will all be linked into the main account. The play money account will be for our individual spending that we do not need to consult with each other for. The main account will be for bills and house things, joint things. We decided to each set an amount monthly for our play money accounts. We are also saving aggressively for retirement.





For me, having my own account from my single days makes me comfortable and feel more secure, but I have to let it go and trust my husband. I work hard and have two jobs and do feel weird about it, but I know it is to my benefit. We have to work as one now, that is the point of marriage.





My best friend said she will never do a joint account again, she was bitterly burned in a divorce, but there is something to me that indicates distrust there or unwillingness to really surrender to the marriage.


Any of this make sense?