Need advice and help from indian couples?

Hi, i got married 2 years back and as almost all the couples we are living in my in law's home. Two days back i got a bad discussion with my husband about my responsibilities as bahu, according to him there are things that i dont do but I do everything i can and always try to be good and nice with them no matter wat. I really dont know why he said that and since then im really sad. Please ppl tell me some advice according to indian culture wat a bahu should do...


Ohh something very important: Im not an indian so my culture is kind different to indian's thats why i need some advice.Need advice and help from indian couples?
How can you be expected to be the perfect Indian bahu when you are not even Indian? not even from that culture? I think they should extend that courtesy to you, and not expect you to assume a cultural role, when, infact, you do not hail from that culture. No, I don't believe you should buy them small gifts, as someone here suggested, you are not a second class citizen who has to buy people's love and respect. Bullshit.


You husband is at fault here, he should be the go between the two parties and should find the way of compromise.... he should explain to his parents that they have to give a little too.Need advice and help from indian couples?
An indian Bahu should give respect to her in_laws, do all household work, take care of kids, husband and in_laws. Celebrate all festivals and rituals, do fasting for betterment of husband, kids and family. She should speak sweetly to everyone.


You should keenly note how your mother-in-law do the work and do in the same manner. Ask your husband and in-laws what they expect from you. Listen their compains cool-minded and try to find out the middle way where everybody cooperate and adjust.
So your MIL doesn't like you are washing or doing other stuffs. Ok...ask her whatelse she wants. Communication is they key. Try to get involved with them. You told you are from different culture. Then get up early in the morning, take bath early and do some pooja or kind of stuffs, doing some good dishes for them, learn hindhu culture and just check what your MIL likes. If still they are not happy, then that is not your problem. It is there problem. So just move out from there if your husband likes..I hope my input is worthful for you.
I am rather surprised and shocked you are doing so much to adjust but not getting a good response from your inlaws.


Just try with small gifts too, maybe this helps.


Communication is the key here, please talk openly with your hubby and inlaws about your expectaions.





Indian culture tells us to treat women with respect and dignity.











sanjeev
Hey, Your husband is not supporting you.


Talk this out with him.


Ask him according him what is the perfect ';bahu';?


As long as you do all the work your in-laws will be happy,


But that does not mean that any one can bully you.


Just talk to your husband,
Your very question and effort to find a solution to your domestic problem indicates that you are a fair and a loving person..willing to please and adapt to a strange culture.


Such a Bahu should be greatly respected as well in a joint family...


but you are not..the problem lies not in you..but your in laws....


my guess is that your morther-in-law is jealous of you...as a result..no matter what you do will be good enough for ';them and their son';


the son will be emotionally blackmailed by her, so he would not not be able to stand up by you...think he is weak in this respect..


this is a common problem in our culture..and the only way out is to separate from the in-laws...otherwise your life will become progressively worst..mother in laws can be real dragons.


good luck.