I'm feeling left out, in my 40s & single but many of my friends in couples. Advice please?

I'm in my late 40s and have never settled down. The only reason I can think of is that I didn't meet a guy with whom I thought it would work with for life. I've had a pretty good job which enables me to travel, make friends all over the place and do what I like. I know that I look pretty, often get taken for 33 and am fit too. After my ex boyfriend of many years left me 6 years ago (he couldn't get his head around marriage), I've been more or less alone, except for the odd date. But I've never fallen for these guys and had just decided I like my life alone. However, I've just met my cousins new boyfriend and realise she will be the next to marry. For some strange reason I feel isolated and sad. Why is this when I know so well that many marriages fail and are charades? Please advise me?I'm feeling left out, in my 40s %26amp; single but many of my friends in couples. Advice please?
I am about the same age as you, and in the same situation. I think the feeling of sadness was brought on by seeing your cousin and her new man. Operative word: new. When it's new, it's always the best. I also think the feeling of sadness will fade. You like your life as it is, and it sounds great. I'll bet you'll be back to your usual self shortly. Hey, it's never too late! The right man may be out there. I keep fit as well, and I have more fun than my married friends. I'll bet you do, too. I sure hope this helps a little, good luck.I'm feeling left out, in my 40s %26amp; single but many of my friends in couples. Advice please?
im 27 and i just have to say you probably met alot of guys that would have stayed with you , you seem like the type where youre stuck up and think you can always do better,


well look at you now.


alone and wondering why.
I will think so ...normally you should have been married at this age...this is when you have to have a family planned out because you are getting older. In my culture., parents wouldnt let you be 4o yrs old without getting married, they will start bugging you once you knock on your thirties..educated., have a job and achieved everything of your goal. So , I dont want to say its too late now and I am also curious to see maybe you were given opportunities and you just turned them down....but anyways you have to be careful and also be on the look out., knowing that there are crazy men out there.
i get where your coming from I'm also in my 40's and have never met that special someone that you hear about.if you feel like being alone is the way to be that is ok but don't give up hope of finding someone.yes many marriages end in divorce but at least half of them stay together so there is some hope out there.it can get pretty old hearing when are you going to settle down and have a family. I hear that a lot.I think that you don't have to be married or in a LTR to be happy and successful.if your not meeting new people it might be worth your time to try online dating like eharmony or lavalife.or one of those eight minute date thingies. good luck!
Here's what I did:





I found the prettiest girl from the most stable family I could. Then I swept her of her feet. We had great sex, awesome times together, and basically just knew that we were meant to be together forever. So naturally, we ruined it - by getting married. Now we're divorced. I've learned a valuable lesson. Marriage sucks and divorce was invented to keep people who used to love each other from slitting each others throats in their sleep.





Believe it or not, being alone in your 40's sucks but it's not half as bad as being in a bad marriage. At least you can still experience the thrill of falling in love with someone new, and then if things don't work out, you can dump their sorry ***. That my dear, is worth it's weight in gold. Find another cynical soul, and settle into a girlfreind/boyfreind thing. Get a cat. Try foster parenting. But don't beat yourself up for making a smart choice.
It is hard for me, being 19, to really be able to be a viable source of help for you, but I'll put in my two cents, since I am told I'm quite mature for my age.





The reason you feel isolated is because you essentially are, you are alone most if not all of the time, except for times that you must be around co-workers, which really in the minds of humans isn't time to ourselves. Many people seem to jump into this whole ';marriage'; thing without really taking in enough information about their lover to see if they will be right for each other, and sometimes you can't tell until you get into marriage. However, if you are with somebody for years and still have the same great relationship with them, marriage could be something to look into.





But lets push it a little bit here. If you plan on living alone, or if you don't plan on raising a family, then why not just have boyfriend relationships for the rest of your life? Nothing too formal, just someone whom you are close with that can help you get over the isolation you feel and the sadness you get from it. Marriage is when the relationship becomes a legal issue, and that is where problems can occur, you just can't settle it with simple ';I'm done with you.'; If you have the time to go and date, I say go for it, no reason not to, just don't think of your efforts being wasted if you don't find someone. Its like looking at life like your car, you can spend money to make it look nice or have better features, but it will probably still break down and cost more money to repair, regardless of how much money you have already put into it.
We all know that marriages fail, and the ones that stay together aren't necessarily happy. You are sad perhaps because they are so happy and hopeful, and maybe being so happy now does make up for the unhappy of a future possible break up. Perhaps it is because they are willing to try. I knew my marriages wouldn't work out forever, for the same negative reasons, but that didn't stop me from living life, even if that included being married, a single mom or one, married again, two more kids, then single mom of three, now dating almost mr. right for 7 years. I do regret the marriages, but not the kids and not the experience of it all. And now I have no idea if this is any help at all.
Its common to feel this way, inevitable and natural, actually. However, its good that you rationalize- you say that many marriages fail, and you are right. About 4 out of 5 marriages in the country will fail within the first 2 years, this is a statistical fact.





As for not being able to find a partner, or, coming across the wrong ones is another story. Women often make the mistake of taking the passive role; that is, women traditionally expect men to make initial contact. Perhaps you're not giving off that ';available'; vibe appropriately- that is, to the right people. Odd dates are a result of giving off your availability in the wrong way and taking the passive role to an extreme. You have to be approachable yet challenging. Taking a proactive role will increase your chances of coming across Mr. Right, because, let's face it, the more you look the greater the selection. Remember, know how to take the lead; men love a challenge, they love to chase women around.





Again, in social situations, let yourself be seen in a subtle way. Know how to flirt and make the guy of interest chase after you. Let me know if I can help out, cheers!