First, let me establish my credentials. I am married to the same woman for last more than 35 years. We have two grown up daughters and we are a happy family. While it is true that divorce is not seen in good light in our society (but then which society does anyway?), divorces are not uncommon and people opt for it when they find it really impossible to stay together. WE stayed married not because we were afraid of the society but because we didn't find any reason for it. Also, we are NOT the ideal couple purportedly in eternal love with each other and we HAD our shares of fights and heartaches too but divorce was never an option because but we had trust and understnading for each other.
Now, coming to your query. Look, marriage is a bond of trust and understanding between two persons coming from different background. While each one should have space of his/her own as a right, both should endeavour to GIVE space to others. Sex is a binding factor, however, its urges reduce with time but love does not, it increases and bonds firmly.
Kids are further bonding agents, they are the fruits of dreams the two have seen together and as parents it is their duty to see them through. It is an established fact of life that kids from broken families rarely make good citizens.
Thus, the only advice I can give is, both of you sit together, decide what you want from each other, what space you can give to each other and repose trust and understanding in each other. The bottom line is trust and understanding, love will blossom anyway.
Good luck to both of you.Looking for good advice from happily married couples?
Hopefully, you both have a plan for marriage which includes effective communication skills between you and your partner. I believe that attentive listening skills lend a hand to problem solving skills in a marriage. Use a lot of ';I'; messages. For examples, I would like to make plans to go out to dinner this evening. That would make me very happy. I would like it if I can find the toilet seat down when I'm in the bathroom.
There are so many things you have to consider before marrying. How will you support yourselves? Do you both want kids? Are your goals compatible? ETC ETC
Do not ever go into a marriage thinking the other person will change or that you can change them. If you don't love every single aspect of this person, you need to decide if you can live with what you don't like, because you will not be able to change them.
The most important thing is mutual respect. You both have to respect yourselves and each other to make it work.
Open honest communication is key.
Marriage has highs and lows- be sure you're ready for the lows- I see people on Yahoo answers all the time after a year or so of marriage wanting out. It doesn't work that way- If you aren't ready for ';sickness and health'; then wait until you are.
oh happily? Well I can fake it. Why do you wanna get married with a the hot singles youre going to meet while in the Peace Corps?
dont go in the peace corps if you are getting married.
Be realistic.
BE realistic in what you expect from each other and of married life. Don't go into your marriage thinking that a good marriage is just that. Marriage takes work from both parties.
I would advise you to wait before getting married if you are going into the Peace Corps. You are both young and the time you spend in the Corps., you will grow considerably physically and mentally and you may just out grow each other.
If you really love each other, the time you spend in the Peace Corps will make your love more mature and give it a solid base for the future.
Go into the Corps first then decide . Be single for a while, while you still can.
My unbiased advice is that if the only reason you would want to delay marriage is to save for the wedding, you are majoring on the minor. Remember that a wedding is a party that you have for the benefit of family and friends. If you feel that you are truly committed to each other and want to join your lives together in marriage -- doing so before joining the Peace Corps may be the right thing. Delaying marriage so that you can save up for a party is ludicrous IMHO.
The best advice i can give you is to trust each other, and communicate openly, i have been married 22 years and that's what i think makes a successful marriage, you are the same age as we were 21 and 22 so i know it works, just understand each other and don't judge, talk,,good luck OK email if you need more advice ,Cindy
If you are together in the corp then great, if the stationing is in different areas then that is asking for trouble, the first year of marriage is the bonding time, learning time get to know each other with the fluff time. That can be very difficult if apart.
If together in the corp, make sure you focus on each other more than the corp, you two would be no good to anyone if the peace at home isn't there (pardon the pun).
Lastly, if you are in love and committed you will do great. Love is not an emotion but a choice, 1 day after marriage to 20 years after marriage to death.
Wish you two the best!
The most couples should ask themselves, WHY MARRY?
Marriage is contract. And a lot of couples , married young, are regreting - at divorseing. And ivorsing is very, very expencive. Just to live together - with no children -
why marry? If you really have reason to marry - do it.
Note : reason 'my / her / his parents want us to marry' doesn't count!!!
Be sure you know each other well and want the same things out of life, also financial stability is a big part of it.
DO NOT GET MARRIED BEFORE YOU GO INTO THE PC. WAIT. Use the PC as a way to test the relationship. If you make it through that then you should get married. Just dont believe that if you get married it will make the relationship stronger. Being married isn't going to make you any closer or make either of you any more faithful. Its better to know someone is there for you across the world because they want to be not because they have to be. Then when you get done or you have the ability to physically be together then get married. There are many new things that you have to work out when you initially get married that you need to be together to define.
I don't know what advice to give you other than to keep the communication open and be realistic about what you want and expect from each other.
Prior to marriage Just work on closeness, caring and helping each other on all the aspects for a minimum of 1 1/2- 2 years.
Once you are well known to each other then go for marriage
Forget marriage until you are over 30
my most important advice after married for 27 years is not to get married. the two of you will be just as happy and healthy if you spend time together without the constraints of marriage. i believe that a marriage certificate is a license to offend the other , to hurt the other and to make the other miserable. if you love him that is great but to get married so you can stay together in the pc is foolish
I am 21 and have been married for 2 1/2 years... And I can honestly say that I never thought marriage would be so difficult. It takes a lot of work from both spouses. There is one thing I believed when I got married that I don't believe anymore...'; Love is all you need';
That is not true. Sometimes the love is there, but other important things aren't. If you know you love this person enough to be with them forever.... through terrible times, wonderful times, times of distance then get married. But be prepared for work, compromise and anger... But if you have found the right person... it's worth all of that and more!!! Good Luck!
keep your socks on ?
You waiting until after graduation is a good start. Education is important. But remember one thing marriage is a business not much about love.
I have it great because we love each other but we run our family like a business because love pays for nothing. He is my strength and I am his.
Good luck with everything
I honestly don't believe that being married when you are so young is the right idea. You don't really know who you are yet. If you get married, it will be centered around the Peace Corps. What happens after your tour ends and you've become different people? The best unbiased advice I can give you right now is to go do your Peace Corps thing. If your love and commitment is strong enough, it will last til after you're through.
I think the two of you are still too young.
Know that once you are married it takes just as much work to maintain your relationship as it did when you were just dating.
The effort level can not decrease and being complacent with each others needs will only hurt you in the long run. Be aware of why you fell in love and remember those reasons when you are angry...a reality check is so important. Also...keep your marital problems yours...don't go to the parents. Because once you make up, they may still be mad at whom ever had been the one ';in trouble';.
Good luck and love always!!
well first of all be friends and care about each other ,be near each other in sadness and in happiness , God be with you and good luck
why the hurry into marriage?
go full fill your dreams together, let the working world test your relationship for a year or 2, it is very different from the school days....
Let me tell you. It will be kinda difficult, especially if you gonna go to the peace corps. Why not go to the peace corps first then get married after wards... that way, you know you guys are meant to be. If you get married first, it will test you love and commitment as a married couple... and we all know... long distance is the killer of relationships... so, I would wait on the marriage... unless, you just get married and don't go with the peace corp idea... but only you will know how strong your love for one another... if you think, you guys can survive living away from each other... after you are married... then go for it!!!
Don't do it. You're both too young. Go into the Peace Corp together, enjoy life and see what there is out there to experience. If you are still in love after you've grown up, then get married. Marriage is a lot of hard work and you're in it for the rest of your life, take your time, there is no rush.
i have been married for 20 years.. it has its ups and downs (and i dont mean in bed) real life is hard at times.. you must both remember that you are individuals trying to join each other to be together.. you were not born as twins so you shouldnt have to do everything together.. give each other space... and grow together.. share knowledge with each other and its okay to cry and its okay to try to help each other out... just dont be a critic and criticize each other... when you feel hurt or down .. you should try to remember what it was that made you fall in love with each other in the first place
Don't listen to other people who tell you that your to young. I was 20 when I got married.We have our ups and down's but we wouldn't trade it for anything. Make sure that getting married is really what you both want. Listen to each other. Talk to each other don't keep things bottled up inside. Make sure to compromise, marriage is 50/50. Don't run away at the first disagreement you have. Marriage takes work. Good luck
Wait 3 years and if you still want to get married, then do. Until then, have fun and enjoy your youth! I married when I was 22 and now here I am at 29 going through a divorce and wondering where my 20's went.
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