Marriage advice--Couples that have been together over 25 yrs:?

Can anyone help with this one? I am thinking that if I ask a bunch of people that have been married for over 25 yrs-- what made their marriages close to perfection. What kept the spark going, what helped ease tension, what worked for long term success in there current life decisions.... I can take all of the data and then use it so that I may achieve greater and longer success with my current bf. I want to be like my grandparents that were married for over 50 yrs. People say that kind of love dont exsist anymore, but I think it does.. What helps in a relationship to get to that stage? Give me any input... Im open to anything...Marriage advice--Couples that have been together over 25 yrs:?
If both of you have the same goals for a successful marriage then you both already are on the high end of success, for it takes two to make it work. The main thing in any relationship is intimacy, by this I do not mean sex. Let me explain. All of us tend to hide our inner true self from others for fear we will be ridiculed and rejected. So we only show the world a part of ourselves, hideing from others negative truths of ourselves. We all strive for acceptance from others. If a couple can be open with each other and build a trust that allows us to be ourselves, revealing our inner secrets of ourselves and feel secure we will still be loved and accepted by our spouse, this creates intimacy. A bond that would be very hard to break. With this comes a closeness that can withstand outer challenges. This feeling of intimacy creates a deep friendship and closeness that ignites sexual intimacy to last throughout the years on a much deeper level than lust alone can bring. Think about it, to be able to reveal your true self to one person and know you can trust that person to still love you is the greatest gift in life. People would walk miles for a love like that. This kind of intimacy takes patience and time to grow, and it never stops from growing, it is an everyday life long expression. By this I do not mean you unload your dirtly laundry, burdening your spouse with your past lifes details. I mean to be yourself, weakness and fears revealed, all the things we hide from the world, and still maintaining self respect and dignity. If you can be the soft place your spouse can fall back on, where he can trust you to love him with his faults and all, you will be there with the rest of the folks that have been married for many years. Don't confuse having intimacy with being a doormat, for respect is another ingredient very important in every relationship, never lose your respect for yourself and for your spouse. Good luck to you!Marriage advice--Couples that have been together over 25 yrs:?
I think you're silly to believe that people who have been married more than 25 years have a love that's ';close to perfection.'; Certainly there are some, but really people who've been together that long just learn to live with each other. They learn to take joy in other parts of their lives and to coexist and have companionship from their partner.





My parents have been married nearly 35 years now, but I wouldn't say they have ';perfect love.'; They have just learned to accept each other, to focus on work and separate friends, and to accept the companionship that each other affords.





It's when you realize that it's unrealistic to expect ';perfect love'; that you can have good, safe, fair long-term relationships.
Friendship. You have to find things that you enjoy and do them together and also have time for yourself. Communication is so important. I don't know that the ';spark'; will stay forever, depends on the couple. But your relationship can grow and change as you both grow older into something even more real.
communication.





you grow to know each other, like no other. you keep that person above all rest, you show passion, respect, you allow the other to have their hobbies outside the norm of marriage.


You love.
Sorry, only 24 years here.


But, I think I know what you are asking.


First off, when your grandparents said their vows, it actually meant something to them. Its to easy for people to end marriages nowadays.


Second. This is something that has been forgotten,


Women need to be loved.


Contrary to popular belief, a Man does not want love, he wants respect. If you respect your Husband, he will, in turn, show love to you.


When you find a man who will say those vows and mean it, that's half the battle, as long as you mean it also.


You will not be ';In love'; with your spouse your whole marriage, but it doesn't mean that you wont fall back ';In love'; with them if you stick it out. Its all about commitment.


My marriage is wonderful, but it hasn't always been so, but we made it thru the hard stuff together, and are stronger for it.


Good Luck.
Here are the main reasons couples give why marriage fail: Money, sex and family.





In my personal point of view I think most of marriage because couples fail to know each others deep wants/needs and perseverance regardless of the situation, the difference between nowadays and at the time of your nan is she probably married her sweetheart childhood love, they grew up next to each others and saw each others a lot. Plus the stigma attached to divorce for her generation.





So if you want for your marriage to last with your special one follow this steps :





+ Do not marry , Love is love under any circumstance ... 99.99 % of guy marry their loved one because they did not want to hurt her feeling and dream of the big marriage (her being the queen for one single day).After marriage they feel like in prison (mortgage, kids, work, etc...) .By the way I am a guy





+ Push a new law in the next parlement session to oblige married couples to stick together through thick and thin
OK here is my take on this. Being married a long time does not equal close to perfection. Lets suppose some of these people stay together out of loyalty, or security, or for the kids sake, or just too scared to leave each other, (some people would rather stay in a bad relationship than the uncertainty of being on there own). Now notice none of these have anything to do with love. What about the couples who have got divorced after 30 years together and one of them has had affairs for years. We are all different and i dont think one answer will work for everybody.But I do believe you can have amazing relationship as long as you both share the same values and work together to keep the relationship alive, excting, communicate well, and dont do anything to hurt each other.